Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
