This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
