So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
