Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
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Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
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You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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