? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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