hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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