If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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