Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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