Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
