I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i already hear my dad disowning me
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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