so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
