Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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