Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
