she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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