my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
