yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
