I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
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The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
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I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize