put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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