You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
