Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
