I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
