I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
