guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We're too hungover to prance.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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