He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
