is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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