my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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