he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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