ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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