im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
