I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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