Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
