oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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