saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
