No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
