He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
