Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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