Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
