WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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