can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
