My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
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So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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