He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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