I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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