my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
