i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
