So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
