We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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