Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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