I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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