i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
