i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
