We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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