I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
