so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
