Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
