Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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