This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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