it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize