Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Someone shit on the floor
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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