Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
