I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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