I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize