I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
